It is only in silence that we truly hear the cacophony that are the echoes of all our life choices. I realized how uncomfortable I am with my current life situation when I sense that silence is no longer my ‘friend’. I was introduced by a friend of mine to a model of prayer made popular by Abbot Thomas Keating and Rev. Cynthia Bourgeaut (among others) entitled Centering Prayer. It has been a wonderful addition in my life. Like most things that are good for me, I have a love hate relationship with this practice. In reading the work of James Hollis he says that we live lives that are ‘haunted’ by unconscious ‘complexes’. Hollis, a Jungian analyst whose work I have found helpful is worth considering here. According to Hollis, Jung spoke of ‘complexes’ being webs of energy and experiences that will tend to erupt into our day to day existence. They come unbidden to the degree that we don’t, with proper inner work, bring them into the light of consciousness. They will show up in many ways including (but not limited too) anxiety episodes, somatic symptoms, dysfunctional relationships. The great tragedy of these complexes is that they can drain the life out of our existence.

I once heard a story of a young man who went on a date during high school. It was with the ‘love’ of his life. I know many of us can recall the profound elixir of high school romance. Yet as he recalled the story of this magical evening he frequently spoke of how the evening was ruined by his inability to let go of the fact that prior to leaving for the date he had forgotten to make his bed. The constant image of his ‘unmade bed’ precluded him from seeing all the beauty and magic throughout the evening. I think most of us can relate to some version of this type of event in our lives. One way to understand Complexes is that they function in a similar fashion. They rob us of living our present authentic life. We too easily inhabit the wounds of our past without being willing to do the work that would ‘clean’ the wound, and beginning the healing process. I can personally attest to the many ways that I have tried to avoid growing up. I am a great example of the old adage “There is no problem, large enough that I can’t run away from”.

There have been times in my life, however, when the pain or discomfort of living an inauthentic life has impelled me to try something new. I can honestly say that more often than not, the bringing to greater consciousness of a ‘Complex’ has lead me to a new life. A ‘more abundant’ life. But how does one begin to do this ‘work’ of moving beyond our ‘unmade beds’ and living in the present. To inhabit a world were we can (to paraphrase a Jimmy Buffet song) “die while I’m living than live while I’m dead”. It is in this context that I want to introduce the idea of Centering Prayer.

One way that Centering Prayer works for me is that it slows time down so that my Chronological framework and my Kairos framework become more in tuned with each other. In bringing myself into this moment I learn how to inhabit my life. This may at time include ‘moments’ of regret for my ‘unmade beds’ but the center of attention (and intention) moves away from that moment ( or event) and back towards this one precious life. I want to add that for me this practice which has lead to a more authentic life can only come to full realization if it is integrated into a life of communal practices. No authentic human life can ever be fully realized in isolation. Remembering that Solitude is not isolation.

I wish I could end this reflection with the assertion that if you practice Centering Prayer (and live in Community) all will be well. This is not the case. I frequently remind my students that all healthy theology (I suspect all healthy spirituality, literature, art, science etc.) falls into one of two ‘camps’. We have the Theologies of Liberation which seek to dismantle the structures of evil or sin that cause unjust suffering to God’s delightful creation (including human beings). This may entail analyzing and identifying sources of suffering and creating strategies that seek to build up elements that promote the Reign of God or the Beloved Community. However there is also the Theologies of Accompaniment. Here, we are more often than not, called to simply ‘bear witness’ to the human experiences of tragedy, and triumph. In the act of accompanying we come to realize that in some cases we can actually make the unmade beds and prepare it for someone (or ourselves) to sleep. In other cases the best we can do for ourselves (and another) is to accept that in everyone’s home (including our own) there will be rooms with unmade beds.